Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
