I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
