i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
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