I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
