Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
