tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize