Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
