i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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