ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
