yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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