Don't you send me to vm
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fuck appropriateness.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
