I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
