it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
