i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize