I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
