I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
