I wish I could teleport
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
