everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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