I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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