As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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