You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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