THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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