i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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