He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
