soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
