What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
