i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
