i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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