this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
