problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize