So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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