She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Randomize
