Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
