my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize