he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
