I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
