It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
