I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Two words: blizzard sex
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
