it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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