yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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