u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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