You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
