i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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