It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
