Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have already put on my inside pants.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
