It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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