We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
