Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
