if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
