I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
