dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
