Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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