Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
