well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
