My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
