bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
