everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
