new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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