If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
