Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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