So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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