nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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