your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
