hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hippo gnu deer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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