I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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